Goodbye 2011, you were hard work!

I knew 2011 was going to be a good year when it began. I didn't know how it was going to be a good year; when I reached those really low places and actually acknowledged that I was there I wondered how on earth I had thought it would work out well for me. 2011 was all about reprogramming things, it was about looking inside and starting to rebuild some more healthy thinking, a healthier more balanced relationship with myself, with food, with my family and friends and just generally a healthier mind. I feel 2012 will be the start of some physical changes i believe, I did a lot of the ground work last year and am looking forward to that hard work paying off. I feel like this holiday was really well timed, I needed a hiatus between the years. I don't resolutions, they never work for me but I suppose I use it as a time to reflect,refocus and reprioritise. In 2011 I reached a low I hadn't felt in at least a decade, I started taking antidepressants and they changed my whole way of thinking and gave me clarity I'd never had before and the ability to see my behavior more clearly and understand where it comes from, all thanks to therapy and medication. I finally committed to doing my validation, the work project type thing I needed to do to move to the next bracket in my profession, I don't know if I passed but I did finally submit it. Again not something I would have done had I not gone to my doctor and asked for help. One of the hardest things last year was to accept that as I changed and developed my relationships around me changed, something I'm still wrestling with. So, 2012! What will I do with you? Professionally I'm going to look at where I am in 6 months and assess whether I still want to move on and look for a directing job (at the moment I teach in a preschool but I'd like to be a director now as well). Concentrating on my health while I'm here in San Francisco while thoroughly enjoying myself is going to leave me in a good place to concentrate on fitness when I return to melbourne at the end of the month. I plan to embrace the gym again and make it non-negotiable as a regular part of my life again, last year I gave myself too many reasons not to exercise due to injury initially, then fear of injury. So that's where I am at the moment. I'm loving my holiday, yesterday my friend drove me down to Carmel by the sea, we ate a delicious lunch then walked down the massive hill to the beach. I started freaking out n the way down about how I would make it up again but I did, admittedly in a disgusting sweat that made my hair soaking wet (embarrassing and revolting). We watched Jamie Oliver after dinner and he made semi freddo and we got a hankering for ice cream that was seriously extreme. My friend asked me if I wanted a pint of Ben and jerry or a king sized drumstick. I so wanted a pint of b and j's but being sensible I had the drumstick. When he got back we assessed the damage, 360 calories compared to his 1260!!!! I loved the drumstick and got to eat a spoonful of his ice cream, totally sated! Not sure what's on today, maybe a quiet day, I'm reading the girl with the dragon tattoo and it's starting to really grab me, relaxing is what holidays are all about right? I hope everyone had a lovely new years, we didn't do much, I was in bed by 11 after a little too much red wine. But new years eve has never really grabbed me, just an excuse for serious boozing! Well that's my first prattling for 2012, I'm starting in a good place I'm looking forward to seeing what happens. I see a couple more people are following my journey, welcome to you. :-)